and these words are the words that I've never said to you..

** I was listening to this [click] while writing this entry.

Saya masih ingat soalan Dr Harlina tempoh hari;

Kamu mahu macamana penerimaan orang terhadap kematian kamu kelak?

Hari itu, saya tidak dapat menjawabnya. Tapi semalam saya sudah senaraikan ianya harus bagaimana.

1. Saya mahu ibu dan ayah saya tersenyum menghantar pemergian saya dan berkata there goes our lil princess that has made us proud.
2. Saya mahu rakan rakan saya mengucapkan takziah kepada ibu dan ayah saya dan berkata, thank you for bringing up such a wonderful daughter dan berkata yang baik baik tentang saya kepada mereka.
3. Saya mahu Marini menangis 3 hari 3 malam kerana dia sudah kehilangan rakan baiknya.
4. Saya mahu adik adik saya yang lain berkata there goes the most caring sister in this world whom we can lean on to.
5. Saya mahu nenek saya berkata there goes my lovely cucu that always very loving whenever she serves me.
6. Saya mahu Fatin berkata there goes my best buddy who always there whenever I need her.
7. Saya mahu rakan serumah dan jiran tetangga saya berkata there goes our dearest neighbor that always care for us.
8. Saya mahu guru guru saya berkata there goes my student that always so diligent to assist us.
9. Saya mahu bos saya berkata there goes our very dedicated young lady that even though she's clumsy and forgetful; she always strive for her best in her business.
10. Saya mahu rakan sekerja saya berkata there goes our funny mate that always there for us to share our ups and downs together.
11. Saya mahu rakan rakan saya berkata there goes the lively girl that always brighten up our days and took our sorrows away.
12. Saya mahu haiwan yang selalu bertandang kerumah dan saya beri makan berkata there goes the lady that always been so generous to us.
13. Saya mahu tanaman saya berkata there goes our friend that always looks after and talks to us.
14. Saya mahu mereka semua berkata i felt honored knowing her; she has been a very good person all these while and we've forgiven her for her mistakes and may Alloh forgives all her wrongdoings and place her with the soliheen and may she'll be resting in peace.

As for me, how I hope that when the time has come, I can face Alloh with a bright smile and said,

Oh Alloh.. I've tried my very best to carry out my duty as your servant and gazillions of times I've stumbled and do wrong during that time. I kept on saying sorry to You and the next thing I know, I am repeating the same mistakes again and again. But You always shows mercy onto me. Thus, I hope for all the tiny good deeds that I've done, will be accepted by You and please Alloh, grant me with your redho and show me some more mercy so that I can be gathered again with these people that I heart soooo much in Your Jannah. Thank you Alloh. ^^

And... -- dengan penuh rendah hatinya -- I hope that Alloh will response somewhat like this to me;

Now, you can have your peaceful rest as the reward for all the hard work that you've been doing down there. You can choose from any door of My Jannah as you please to be your resting place with all the muttaqeen. And here, I grant you with My redho that you long for. =)

May Alloh accept our and your good deeds. =)