Retiree

Retiree

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Awal pagi tadi, i kept on thinking.

Ketika itu anda lagi tinggal 1-2 tahun untuk pencen. Anda dan suami/isteri anda, mesti sama sama sudah plan of doing this and that lepas bersara kan? Mesti semua yang best best manis manis. Back to honeymoon years orang kata. Just the two of you. Back to the good-old-gold days. Balik kampung. Macam zaman bercinta dulu. But obviously, much better than then.

Keluar awal pagi for subh at the nearest masjid/surau sama sama.
Balek lepas kuliah subuh hand in hand atau bekepit atas motor sama sama.
Breakfast dan bercerita pasal anak anak sama sama.
Gardening sama sama.
Pergi pasar sama sama.
Pergi ziarah oldmates sama sama.
Pergi riadah dekat park petang petang sama sama.
Doing thousands more silly things sama sama.
And the list going on sooo long.

Somehow, i felt like we plan soo much that we tend to just keep it to ourselves. Dan bertunggu tunggu untuk satu masa yang kita sendiri tidak pasti akan tiba atau tidak. Or worst, take things for granted.

I can feel the pain of being left behind by a person that you love the most when everything seems just purrfect for a transition moment of goodness, together. So sad i dare not to say a word to it.

The loneliness, Allahu akbar.

Easier said thn done. People will definitely cakap many things to try to sooth you out. Tapi, only you the one who's gonna deal with it yourself. Death, is never and easy business. Never. Either for the one who's left behind, mahupun yang pergi.

But yes, eventually.. we will learn that everything is change now. And we have to move on. And ultimately, it is HIM the only way for us to ask for the pain to be eased. NaudhubiLlah.

This morning i received a text from my superior beritahu yang CC telah kehilangan suaminya. Mereka lagi setahun hendak pencen. Everytime we went for an outing, MESTI akan terselit satu dua part of the husband. But i bet, she herself pun tidak perasan that the husband is soo familiar to her saying. Cute. Oh dear.

Mudah mudahan Tuhan akan mengangkat kesedihan CC dan keluarganya dengan cepat dan menggantikan rasa berat itu dengan kebaikan yang banyak.

alFatihah.